Choked

So much for my writing deadline.  It doesn't help when I know the due dates are artificial.  I got a lot of work done toward getting my manuscript edited by the deadline.  But a lot is not the same as all, not by half.  I knew deep down [or not so deep down] that the deadline wouldn't make me or break me.  I want this manuscript done and sent to the editor.  I want to move on to my other book for a while.  But it's really hard to sit and use as much time as is necessary to get it all done.  So I had to extend.  I just hope I don't have to extend again.

It's not that an extension is all bad.  I have more time.  But this puts off my submission to another publisher even more.  It means people who might be helped along in their healing process have to wait that much longer for my novel.  It frustrates me to fail in even this artificial a due date.  I just need to find a way to motivate myself, a set number of hours to work on this project daily and a reward [maybe something without excessive calories] to give myself every time I succeed in meeting that goal.  I know I can do this.  I just need to do it.  It's so much more fun to do the actual writing.