Burned out

So much for my habit of writing every day.  I've started teaching 2 sections of an online course with a total of 80 students, 3 rounds of grading per.  It's eaten me alive.  Plus, I've been participating in my writers' group, giving feedback, plus having guests and a million other things.  So I've been writing one paragraph on my middle-grade fiction here and there and doing minimal revising of my sequel to the novel I submitted to the editor for review.  I think part of the issue was I was working so hard for so long on that project that I'm a little burned out.

But in the next few days, I'm supposed to get the editor's review back on my manuscript.  That was fast.  Within short order, I will have those comments plus some I already had to look over and employ on my book.  In the very near future, I will be up to my eyeballs in editing again.  But for now, I've been having vision problem: I've been having a hard time seeing how I could fit writing in and having a worse time finding the ambition to do so.  But that's all going to change momentarily.

Editor!

So the publisher who refused my manuscript suggested I send it to a local paid editor to make sure it's ready to be published.  I did that.  I'm just not giving that same publisher another shot at it.  I will move onto another publisher when it's all polished up and pretty.  If they pass, there's a plan C.  If they pass, I guess it's indie publishing for me until I get picked up somewhere.

This week, I finished polishing it enough to send it to an editor at Eschler Editing.  We chatted for a while, and it's remarkable how human and genuine she sounded.  It made me feel at ease right away. I'll I asked for is to make sure the plot/characters work.  Those seemed to be the greatest issues the publisher had with my work [big ones, it's true].  That kind of edit is really not unreasonably priced.

I'll meanwhile send the new draft to friends and family who already went over it, so they can see the changes and tell me if the newest draft works for them.  So far, I've heard back from my nephew [not the target audience--not LDS, not female, but so far enjoying the book] and his girlfriend, who gratified me by saying I made her cry with it, like the healing kind of cry.  I know I feel better about it already, and I'm thinking after I use the editor's suggestions plus a few of my readers' suggestions, I'll be ready to submit it again.

In the meantime, I'm walking away from that manuscript entirely for a while, so when I see it again, it's once again with fresher eyes, eyes that can see it for what it is rather than for what I imagine it to be.

Again

                                                                                                                                                               

My first novel and second are tied, so whatever I do to one, I have to do to the other.  I have spent the last 2-3 months revising my first novel to be third-person instead of first based on feedback.  I knew this was coming, but I'm still stuck with it.  The second book, Pigs Fly, is only in first-draft but is already close to 80,000 words.  I'm back to the tedious [and long] process of revising the next book to be third-person.  Man, this is going to make me think twice about doing a huge chunk of books one and two before I finalize book one.  Because if editing one such book this way makes me want to pull my hair out until I'm bald, doing the same again makes me want to run screaming for the hills.

But the one thing I don't want to do right now is to even look at book one until I hear back from the editor.  I need a serious break.  And I haven't edited book 2 to death.  It's been really rough drafted, assembled and reorganized, and not much else.  I haven't even read it aloud to my husband, who's one of my best critics.  And it's not so bad to change things up in the tedious way if I'm still editing everything else.  So I guess minutia editing, here I come.

I did it!

Last week, I said I was going to get my major rewrite of my manuscript done.  I worked hard over this last week and one day late, I got it to the editor for recommendations.  I've rarely felt that satisfied as when I finished that.  Few things are quite as tedious as that kind of revision, switching from first to third person.  I know it still needs work.  I got further suggestions from another writer, some of which may match what I hear from an editor.  But I won't mess with any of it until I have it all sitting in front of me.  Then I'll use what works and get it submitted [again] for possible publication.  If this next publisher passes, I'm back and forth between independent publishing and a small publisher.  I don't mind the idea of going indie, though it would be nice to have the name recognition of a publisher for at least my first one.  

Meanwhile, I'm kind of at a loss as to what I should work on next when it comes to writing.  I'd love to just write, but I know that manuscript's sequel/spin-off needs work, too.  I've just been so single-minded for around two months that I haven't been into anything else for a while.  It does feel nice to know I have choices.  It's a good place to be.  

Determined

This is it.  This has to be it.  I have to get my manuscript done.  So much of my soul has been consumed by stressing about getting this manuscript done.  I have yet another due date I set myself to get the editing done, to submit it to the editor.  I remember something my master's thesis advisor told me: there's good, and there's done.

It was disheartening when I received more feedback from the person who has been reading my manuscript.  And it sounds like she straight up doesn't like it.  At the same time, I know there are people who do like it.  She's clearly not the target audience.  I have to accept I'm not going to please everyone.  I will take her feedback and use it as much as it fits into my vision of my story.  But not now.

Right now, I need to finish what I started in turning the whole manuscript from first-person to third-person.  I need to make it as good as it can get in a handful of days.  Then I need to send it to the editor.  I can take their feedback and hers and polish it as much as possible before I send it in for publication...again.  It's still far from done, far from perfect.  But my plate is filling up quickly.  If I don't get it done now, it may be months before it gets done.  I can't keep dragging my feet.  I have to get this done.  Someone out there needs my tale of healing, the story of a woman trained in helplessness fighting her way to self-confidence.  I need to get it to that person.  And the next step is this: getting it done and to the editor.

Feedback

It's good to get feedback from other writers.  That's why I rejoined League of Utah Writers after some hiatus.  I went to a different branch of the group before, one, that met in person.  It was really good to get personal feedback, especially from such excellent writers and critiquers.  Several of them are published and really know what they're doing.

However, I found myself going less and less often because life gets hectic.  The way they run it, you bring your text in one time, people take it home and read and critique it thoroughly, and then you get it back with verbal explanations the next time.  It's a good system, but it didn't work for me.  I would have to have driven 20 minutes to get back into town after going home, or I would have had to stick around in town long after it was necessary...two weeks in a row.  It's hard to make a commitment like that.  If I lived in town, it would have been no big deal.  But especially in winter when even the highway can get slick, and fog makes visibility at night impossible, I just rarely went.

Then I discovered a group that met ONLINE.  Some of them aren't even in the same STATE.  I get the sense that most of them are a little more new to the experience of writing, but the group works for me because I can do it on my own time, without the drive.  It does require that I drop everything to critique others' writing once a month, but it's working fairly well for me since I get their critiques in return.  As I said in a different blog last time, I highly recommend a group like this for anyone.