Teaching English

I've always wanted to teach writing.  I remember sitting in my third-grade class and thinking as I wrote something, "This.  This is what I want to do when I grow up.  I want to write third graders how to write."  Then as I passed from one grade to another, the age I wanted to teach grew up with me until I reached my master's program.  At the age of 26, I discovered what I wanted to do when I grew up, aside from becoming a writer, was teaching writing in college.  That hasn't changed.  2 1/2 years ago, I applied for such a job and didn't get it, but they kept my information on file.  A couple of months ago, I was finally offered the job teaching writing to college students.  It was quite literally  a gift from on high because I'd all but given up on that dream, at least until my kids get older and I get time to think about a doctorate.  It's been an awesome blessing in my life, and it's only just begun.

One of the assignments for the class is to write a love letter to something, not someone.  I thought it would be kind of fun to try it myself.  I could write a love letter to many things around me from my cats to my house, but since this is a blog on writing, it makes the most sense to write a love letter to writing.

Dear Writing, 

I have always loved you, Writing.  I was eager to learn how to read in first grade so I could meet you.  And I did.  I spent so much time with you.  You were my best friend.  I spent time with you and your cousin, Drawing, all through my childhood and youth.  Dear Writing, you showed up in the form of stories about cats in outer space and stories about fuzzy aliens and stories about superheroes and stories about dragons.  When I was in high school, you showed up in novel form.  At the time, you were cliched, poorly written, and that version of you will never see the light of day.  However, I felt good about you.  It was so much fun to spend every day with you.  Then I went to college and got to take classes about how to get to know you better.  You become more complicated and exciting.  

Sadly, there were times I had to spend some time with you I didn't always like because I had to not because I wanted to.  For a while after college, you weren't a big part of my life.  I'd come and visit you, sometimes edit you, but not really help you develop and grow.  I joined a club to try to motivate myself to spend more time with you.  It sometimes worked.  I'm sorry I turned my back on you like that.  

Then, finally, when my kids got older, I decided it was time to take our friendship seriously.  It was time to really immerse myself in our time together.  And finally, Writing, you have become one of my best friends again.  We spend quality, fun time together every day.  So many times, I think about how I'd rather be spending time with you than with whatever I'm doing at the time.  I'm so thankful we've grown so close, dear Writing, and I look forward to our time together in the future.  

Love, 

Tamara

And there you are, a fun little exercise to help me experience the assignment along with my students.  I am so richly blessed, between my four jammie jobs, jobs that I can do at home in my jammies: teaching online, writing my novels, being a mommy, and transcribing college classes [free education!]  I'm so thankful today.

An Audience

It’s kind of fun having fans.  Several of my beta readers for After the Dream have expressed excitement over my next book, Pigs Fly.  I’ll mention it in conversation, and they’ll tell me how much they’re looking forward to it, or they will bring it up and ask.  It’s not a big fan base, but it’s nice feeling appreciated.  It gives me hope that I will find a reasonably sized audience for it.

The same is true with my readers’ group who is helping me with my middle-grade children’s book series, Doomimals.  Multiple people have expressed excitement over the story and want to share these books with their kids.  But the best praise I’ve had so far is in my teenage niece’s delight in it.  She is not easily pleased, and she’s older than the target audience.  I know my kids have had a lot of fun helping me come up with ideas for chapter titles and story events and characters.  The harder part will be making sure these books are not just exciting but meaningful. 

For me, it’s not so much about being appreciated, admired, or even paid.  It’s about helping people.  It’s why I write.  It’s why I do what I want to do:  to touch lives.  I’m sure I will enjoy having strangers come up and tell me they had fun reading my book.  But the comments I’m looking forward to are the ones about how the story, its events, its spiritual content, etc. helped people. That’s the kind of commentary that will truly mean I’m fulfilling my calling in sharing the stories I’m here to share.  I don’t want my words to remain flat, black and white letters on the page.  I want them to help people feel understood, overcome hardship, and find healing.  Otherwise, I’m missing the point.  

Making Sense

Right now, I'm working on making my story make sense.  The first thing I do, after some work on characters and getting the basic concept down, is to write whatever comes to mind from the plot.  Oh, I need a scene where my characters fight?  Great.  Sit down and write it.  Somewhere, there's going to be a flashback about how Robin got her pig?  Awesome!  Sit down and write it.  I blogged about this previously.  I call it quilt writing.  I first create the quilting squares of writing, or scenes, then sit down and put them together.  A couple of weeks ago, I assembled the spinal column of my story.  Now, I'm working on making sure all the bones fit where I put them.  When they don't fit, I put them somewhere else.  For instance, I wrote a scene in which one character reacts to another's negativity.  When I wrote the scene, I didn't know where it would fit in the story.  When I figured out where it had to go, plotwise, he hadn't yet learned some of the factors that went into his reaction.  Those bits had to be cut.  It hurt.  I wanted them there.  But I needed that scene right there for the plot to make sense.  

Some people may say at this point, "Then why don't you start out with an outline?  It would save you time in the end."  For some authors, that works great.  They figure out the plot line, outline it, then flesh it out by writing it.  I'm trying something similar on the side with my mid-grade children's story series Doomimals.  But I run into a lot more walls and run out of steam a lot more often when I have to figure out the dreaded What Comes Next.  It's just not the way I think, the way I function.  I thrive on making sense out of chaos.  If I don't have chaos, I don't have material.  Either this makes sense to you, and you should read on, or this doesn't make sense, and you should ignore me and work with your outlines.  

I heard a writer say everyone uses outlines.  They may do it first or they may do it later.  I suppose that's true.  But I have discovered to keep my creative juices flowing, I can't outline until the characters have told me what's going to happen in the story.  I don't really know the details of what's coming until they come out of my fingers.  If I don't know the details, what do I have to outline?  

If you're a chaos writer, one I've heard referred to as a "by the seat of your pantser," and you're finding neat outlines and chronologies aren't working for you, sit down and start your quilt squares.  Write something, anything, every day, from a character description to the most dramatic moment in your book to a scene that is just for you because the reader doesn't need this much detail.  What happens ANYWHERE in your story or even before or after your story?  Do you have a vivid image of your final scene but no idea where to start?    Do you have a really great idea for a flashback?  Sit and write it.  Get those juices flowing.  Make your squares, and eventually, a beautiful quilt may just come out of it, even if some of those squares never get used.  

Spiritual Core

A couple of weeks ago, I was pondering how to bring spiritual themes into my latest book.  In After the Dream, my first book, my main character had a grandfather who could guide her spiritual journey.  In Pigs Fly, my second book, I want to have characters on various parts of their spiritual pathways, but I don't necessarily want just one character to embody spiritual strength in this book.  I feel like I've played that card and don't want to over-play it.  I also have two different side characters who I want to be main characters in future books.  If I make their voices all-wise here, how can they learn, grow, and develop when it becomes their turn to tell their own story?  How can a reader identify with someone who just needs to tweak perfection in order to be MORE perfect?

So I want a source of wisdom that isn't necessarily just a character here.  I have considered for a while having Robin, my main character, who is a pilot, look to one of the real presidency of the LDS church, a pilot named President Uchtdorf, for her spiritual guidance.  Today, as part of the semi-annual LDS General Conference, President Uchtdorf gave a talk in which he described how men took ruins of a chapel destroyed during World War II and built something new and beautiful from these ruins. He went on to say as capable as man is of recreating beauty from the ashes, the Lord is all the more capable.  The Lord can take the ruins of life and soul and restore them to something better than we ever imagined possible.  I recognized as I listened that this is the spiritual heart of my story, a key to my damaged and angry character's healing process.  I prayed for guidance about how to bring in more spiritual themes--since that's a critical part of why I write--without making the story feel fake or contrived.  Thank you, Father, for sending me an answer from above.